Rage

My screams echo through my mind like a raging storm roaring through a cave. A whirlwind, a tidal wave of anger regrets and sorrow. I never thought, I never saw. I didn’t know that you were a rock in my heart… I didn’t know…..you were always there, I couldn’t see how much you meant because you were always there. now you’re gone and I’m empty and I don’t know
I can’t tell you I’m sorry. I can’t tell you I love you. I can’t tell you goodbye.
I’m like an iron bound Faye who is burning, hurt, tormented and I didn’t know, I didn’t know, I never thought that I would feel this. I never thought, I never thought to lose you. you were always there. you were always present. I’d leave and you were there. I’d come back and you were there. well , I’m back now and you’re gone
Why! it’s not fair, it’s not right, I took you for granted. I thought you were always going to be there and now I’m left with rage, sorrow screaming through my mind like a storm like a tidal wave and there’s nothing I can do about itI don’t want peace I want pain. I want rage, for those are real feelings. those will remind me never again to take another person for granted because even if they seem like they will always be there, one day they won’t be
You are gone and I’m left with the storm, a tidal wave raging through my mind and I just don’t know, I just don’t know, and you’re gone and I’m sorry
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Show love

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Hey all, my 36 yr old, older brother unexpectedly died of heart failure last week on Sept. 27, 2014. I loved him but I didn’t appreciate him enough. I didn’t see him often lately and when I did, I teased him (as little sisters do) but I don’t know if I told him I loved him and how much he meant to me.
So take my advice: tell the people you love, that you love them. Be there for them.

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What I said at his memorial service
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David was my brother, no David is my brother. And as his sister, I don’t think I appreciated him enough, because I took him for granted. I thought, he was always going to be there, that he was always going to tease me, that I was always going to annoy him, that he would always be there as a presence for my children. Unfortunately, I was wrong. David has taught me, through his death, that when you love somebody you need to let them know, as often as you can, be it through the words I love you, be through little gestures like hugs, kisses, punches, pinches, uh I mean hugs and kisses. And I hope that this is a lesson that he is taught you. appreciate the people in your life even if you don’t always get along with them, even if you don’t always agree with them or their lifestyle choices, even if they are the most aggravating person in the world, which David was not I was. Appreciate your loved ones be they friends or family and never treat a stranger bad because you don’t know what they’re going through.
So grieve, rage but also laugh, love and live. Live your life for you only have one.IMG_2464.JPG

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Circumcision complications

Drs say complications are rare. NewsMedia says complications are rare. Families say complications are rare. Consent forms say complications are rare. Medical books and websites say complications are rare.
However, rare complications are pretty scary to the parents and children they affect.
Rare is not rare enough when it is your child.
Infant/child Circumcision is unnecessary surgery on a healthy child. The foreskin is not an issue, disease or defect.

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Last week

Last week, I found out that my sister-in-law’s sister left her baby son whole thanks to fb info I shared a long time ago. The sister had clicked the links and read the info. I was so happy when I found out!
I also talked to my grandmother about the dangers of circumcision. She thought it was a parental choice and a safe choice until I told her about the risk of death, hemorrhage and penile amputation.

Soggy mamas 2.0

https://m.facebook.com/SoggyMamas2?id=559007567474275&refsrc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F&_rdr

My heart is aching for those children. Click on the link and read the screen shots. Many babies are bleeding heavily and getting infections from circumcisions. Mothers are saying how their babies are screaming in pain.
Look at the screen shots. Your heart will break too.

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Man beaten after speaking out about his botched ritual circumcision

Man severely beaten for speaking out about his penis amputation

http://m.mg.co.za/index.php?view=article&urlid=2014-03-25-man-severely-beaten-for-speaking-out-about-penis-amputation/&views=1&mobi=true&KEY=hr3taiqq6ebf78do029q0aki26#.UzSpbim9LCS

A person who attended the meeting and wanted to remain anonymous said: “The meeting at which the young man disclosed his condition was a gathering to discuss general issues, not initiation-related issues. But the amputee felt the urge to share what had happened to him and to ask traditional leaders what they were going to do about it. The three attackers felt the tradition is sacred and speaking about injuries harms the culture.”

…..

‘Being allowed to get away with murder’
After Bityi spoke out in public last week and admitted to being an amputee, the young man’s grandmother, his closest living relative as both his parents died years ago, was “traumatised”, according to a friend. “She’s so surprised and shocked that all along he was living with a deep secret like this. She’s very concerned about her grandson and so is Bityi’s younger brother,” said the source.

Nkululeko Nxesi, director of the Community Development Foundation for South Africa that works with traditional leaders to make circumcision safer in the Eastern Cape, said he was not aware of the latest incident. “But we’re condemning such action with the strongest contempt because injured initiates should not be stigmatised or ill-treated, they need to be accepted. There’s a criminal element involved here that needs to be discussed with traditional leaders.”

Eastern Cape health department spokesperson Sizwe Kupelo condemned the attack, saying the perpetrators should be brought to justice. “This man’s penile injury is not an isolated incident. We have many initiation-related injuries and the ritual needs to be made safer. We, as the government, need to ensure that initiates who have been injured are supported and that perpetrators, including the traditional circumcisers and nurses responsible for penis-related injuries, are severely punished. They’re being allowed to get away with murder.”

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http://www.drelist.com/circumcision-complications
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https://www.healthtap.com/user_questions/382847-what-qualifies-as-a-botched-adult-circumcision-i-got-circumcised-for-phimosis-and-i-feel-it-is-a-botched-job-i-have-painful-tightness-on-the-shaft-behind-the-sulcus-and-tight-penoscrotal-web-i-can-t-get-fully-erect-and-it-hurts-the-amount-of-skin-c

Circumcised men refusing condoms

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Circumcision is not the answer to stopping the spread of sexually transmitted disease/infections.

Condoms and safe sex practices are key.

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http://m.voazimbabwe.com/a/zimbabwe-swaziland-south-africa-medical-male-circumcision-programs/1864352.html

Ernest Dhlamini of Mbabane city, Swaziland, was circumcised in 2006, to enjoy what he calls a clean life.

Dhlamini says he is worried that a large number of men circumcised under current programs funded by international organizations, are now abandoning condoms and engaging in unsafe sex.

He says this is a blow to programs implemented in 2009 by some African nations in an effort to curb the spread of HIV.

“There are many circumcised men who think that by being circumcised they can now have unprotected sex at will. They think that they can no longer contract HIV.”

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And in America

http://newsinfo.iu.edu/news/page/normal/15770.html

According to the study’s findings, one of four acts of vaginal intercourse are condom protected in the U.S. (one in three among singles).

“These data, when compared to other studies in the recent past, suggest that although condom use has increased among some groups, efforts to promote the use of condoms to sexually active individuals should remain a public health priority,” Reece said.

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http://m.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/why-still-so-few-use-condoms/275301/

If we’re honest, many of us do see condoms as robbing us of pleasure, stealing some excitement and spontaneity from intimacy, and dulling the intensity of sexuality. It’s okay to say that. These factors are the primary reasons that still only 60 percent of teenagers claim to use condoms. These factors warrant acknowledging. From there, condom usage declines as people grow older. The number one reason we have seen given time and again for refusal to wear condoms is the reduction of pleasure.

It is natural for anyone of any sexual orientation to not only preserve, but maximize pleasure during sex. Bill Gates is one of the few public figures addressing “safe sex” in such a way that prioritizes pleasure, and his foundation appears alone in its work to honestly wrestle with the real reasons people don’t like or use condoms. That makes Gates one of the only committed and serious people fighting the HIV/AIDS crisis — in America and abroad.


http://healthland.time.com/2013/11/12/no-condom-culture-why-teens-arent-practicing-safe-sex/

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the percentage of American students using condoms hit its peak at around 60% a decade ago, and has stalled since then, even declining among some demographics. A recent study released by the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada found that nearly 50% of sexually active college students aren’t using condoms. Other reports have found that while teenagers are likely to use a condom the first time they have sex, their behavior becomes inconsistent after that.

Even in places where there’s money and free condoms to go around, health departments haven’t necessarily seen safe sex go viral. New York City health officials are reporting that only 1 in 3 adult residents uses protection, despite years of PSAs and prophylactic handouts under Mayor Michael Bloomberg. While condom use among young people in New York City is slightly up since 2009, that puts it on par with the stagnant nationwide average.

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http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/416#references

Condoms Are Effective Barriers.
The condom—latex or polyurethane, male or female—is the only technology available to prevent the sexual transmission of HIV.[15]
Laboratory studies show that latex condoms provide an essentially impermeable barrier to particles the size of HIV and other STI pathogens.[2] Studies show that polyurethane condoms also provide effective barriers against sperm, bacteria, and viruses such as HIV.[1]
Several studies clearly show that condom breakage rates in this country are less than two percent. Most of the breakage and slippage is likely due to incorrect use rather than to the condoms’ quality.[1]

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Circumcision causes loss of glans sensitivity eventually

“‘We’re not saying less sexual activity or satisfaction, but sensitivity,’ senior author Dr Piet Hoebeke, from Ghent University Hospital, said.”

“One possible explanation for any potential difference in sensitivity is that a man’s foreskin may protect his penis’s head from rubbing against underwear and clothing. It’s possible, the researchers write, that friction makes the head of the penis thicker, drier and ultimately less sensitive.

The researchers also found circumcised men were more likely to report more pain and numbness during arousal than uncircumcised men, which Dr Hoebeke said is likely due to scar tissue.

‘I’m amazed that people report pain during sexual pleasure… that was unexpected,’ he told Reuters Health.”

“British doctors say that although it can reduce the risk of some types of infection the risks associated with routine circumcision outweigh any potential benefits.”

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2279166/Circumcision-DOES-reduce-sexual-pleasure-making-manhood-sensitive.html

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Moralogous: don’t hit ‘em with your best shot

http://www.moralogous.com/2014/02/16/dont-hit-em-with-your-best-shot/

Don’t hit ‘em with your best shot
Making your strongest case against circumcision may actually be counter-productive.

by Lillian Dell’Aquila Cannon

Arguing against routine infant circumcision was the context in which I first learned of cognitive dissonance. It was in the infancy of my intactivism when I first noticed that the logical medical and sexual arguments against circumcision often did nothing to persuade people to not do it to their own children. It was a mystery to me why perfectly intelligent, rational-seeming people would defend cutting off healthy tissue from an unconsenting child even when they had learned the facts about circumcision, and could no longer rely on the justification of the myths surrounding it. Being more of a thinker than a feeler myself, I naively thought that when I told people that circumcision violated a child’s right to his whole body, they would easily change their minds, because this was what worked for me. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

… Read more…..
http://www.moralogous.com/2014/02/16/dont-hit-em-with-your-best-shot/