disclaimer: I, of course, did not write this
“And when they don’t make any difference at all, or when things seem to get even worse, you are left feeling defeated. I know, because I’ve been there too. Many times. But I’ve realized, as I wrote in Ready to Snap, that when I am there, I don’t need advice.
In the moments where I feel like I’m going to snap, as much as I feel like I need help, I don’t really need advice. I do not need someone telling me how great time outs are. I do not need someone telling me that I was disrespectful to my child and that if I just focused better on connecting with her that these problems would not arise. I do not need someone saying that I expect too much of myself or that I expect too much of my children. I do not need someone telling me that we need strict consequences for misbehaviour. I need a hug. I need empathy. I need help. I need a break. I need space. I need time to think. Once I’ve had that, I need one-on-one time with the kids to reconnect with them and I need a few days of calm for us to get back to normal and leave our stresses behind.
In the comments on that post, Amber from Strocel.com wrote:
I have gone to my room and sobbed. I have yelled, and known it wouldn’t help. And I have playfully de-escalated situations. Sometimes, I really pull through. Sometimes I don’t. Always, I try to do better.
That, for me, is what it is all about. It is about doing better. So on the good days, I try to do better, hoping it will serve me well on the bad days and hoping that the bad days will be fewer and further apart.”