Weaning Teas

Well I’m seriously considering weaning my 2 yr old completely from the breast. In early March my hubby and I will be visit tennessee for 4 days. During that time I know my breasts will be totally engorged so I’ll need to bring my pump and I want to bring some teas with me. In my research ice read that sage, mint and parsley can help dry up your milk. I figure 4 days with no nursing and the teas should make me pretty dry.
The only problems are 1) my youngest’s is really booby attached and 2) I don’t know if I’m ready.

I don’t know if I want to weaning completely and force the issue or let him wean naturally when he is ready. I don’t know if by weaning if he will sleep better or worse at night.
I just don’t know.



Mommy groups- my take

My previous post was not of my own creation but I had to share it. I posted the link so hopefully copy right laws aren’t broken.

Most of my current friends that I see frequently I met through a mom’s group on meetup.com in 2007 or met through a mom from that mom’s group.
Example I met my friends S and L through glamour moms (no I’ve never been glamourous). Through S I met H. S met H through the hospital birthing class. I met H while with S at a gymboree play class.
S,L and H are my main circle of friends. If not for the original mom’s group we wouldn’t be friend’s. We are different. We are opposites. We don’t always click well…. But we share in the joys and miseries of this thing called parenthood. Being a stay at home mom can be lonely but having this group of women to commiserate with has been invaluable. I can take the good things and the bad things I watch them do and either apply it to my circumstances or even see myself mirrored in them.
They have been there for me and are still here almost 4 yrs later. 3 1/2 yrs of my life I’ve known these women and their children. My children have grown up with their children and although I will move in less than a year and maybe in a few years they will be but s memory, I know they have still made a difference in my life.
Yes, we only know each other because we had kids around the same time and were bored. Yes, we get on each others nerves. Yes, we may lose touch but the laughter, conversations and companionship we’ve garnered through these years is tangible…. I’m thankful… Even in my jealousy and insecurity at times I am thankful.

Mommy groups

I did not write this but it is hilarious!!!!

Lesson Ten: You Shouldn’t Even Need a Business Card to Go to the Damn Park | The Stir.

As a parent, you are expected to associate with other parents who have children the same age as yours. I’m not sure exactly why but I suspect it’s because bears are less likely to attack large groups of people. I’ve been told that it’s because motherhood can be isolating and that mommy-and-me playdates are a great way for moms to relax and enjoy each other’s company.

I don’t know who started that rumor but it’s extremely misleading, as most mothers leave those groups feeling exhausted, judged, and even more lonely than before. This is why you should choose friends based on whether you like them or not, rather than solely because they had unprotected sex in the same month that your IUD failed.

I mean, that would be like choosing a husband based on the coincidence that you both know how to groom cats, or have the exact same genitals. It might give you something to talk about for a few days but pretty soon you realize that one of you is 85 and Icelandic and the other is a heroin addict who only speaks Spanish.

Still, many new mothers feel that joining playgroups is an essential part of being a parent and some even enjoy the experience. These women are usually drunk. Or they’re super competimoms who need someone to compare themselves to so they feel good about the fact that they’ve terrified their child into potty-training at 3 months. You can usually tell them apart because the drunk moms are having a much better time and are more likely to get arrested. The competimoms are the ones handing out mommy business cards and who are much less topless.

The first time someone handed me a mommy business card, I thought it was a joke. It said, “I’m Jayden’s mommy. Here is our number and address. Please come rob us.” That last line was just implied. I handed her a copy of my business card (“The Bloggess: Only offensive to assholes”) and then she told me that she didn’t actually have enough mommy cards and she took hers back. I told her it was fine because I have a photographic memory and asked if she had any dogs or security cameras. She left. Quickly. But that’s probably for the best because most “mommy business cards” are a sign that you should run like hell because that chick is probably insane. Still, the concept is a good one so I’ve decided to make some mommy cards for the rest of us

This last card is more of a test. If the mom laughs, then it’s probably a good match. If the mom is appalled and starts backing away slowly, then just clarify that it’s only because she seems like a conscientious parent who would totally feed her child all-organic and you’re trying to cut back on preservatives.

If anything, it’s a compliment.

All proceeds from the sales of these cards go to the-fund-to-buy-me-stronger-meds.


Angel and a Devil

Ever see yourself, watch yourself as you act in anger? Try to tell yourself to go cool off while telling yourself to go fuck off? As a mom I watch myself. In the back of my head I keep my family and friends’ judgements of me and my children. I constantly feel under attack. So I attack and react with guilt. My oldest acts spoiled and whinnying so I crack down hard on his behavior. I spank or yell or both. I shouldn’t. Afterwards, I’m broken. I’m weak and torn. I apologize.
I love to see my children smile. My oldest loves dinosaurs. We went onto a children’s consignment shop and he saw one so I got it. He doesn’t need a new toy but I still got it plus 2 Dino books. I’m sucker for obsessions.
I feel guilty because I should show more restraint and teach him to appreciate what he has….
He only behaving as I have taught him through modeling or lessons. He is the child. I am the adult. I should behave if I expect him too.
God, please help me! Please help me!


Well today was the first dentist appt. For my 4 and 2 yr old. My oldest surprised the hell out if me. He got a clean, Xrays, flossing and exam and was an angel! My youngest sat in my lap and squealed like a pig when the dentist only visually checked his teeth.
In my youngest defense he was a bit cranky…staying up from 1 am – 3:30 am and waking up at 7 am is bound to make you tired. I swear I contemplated my suicide last night when that boy refused to sleep and refused to let me leave his room. Suicide was the only option where I wouldn’t end up in jail and disowned by my family.
Anyways, after the dentist we went by my mom’s house, chased the cat, bothered the dog, made a mess and had lunch with my mom.
I gave the boys a hair cut and alex came home bringing with him My youngest’s new bed.
This twin sized bed is for the sole purpose of mommy being comfortable when trapped with that little raging booby demon at night.
Needless to say, night weaning is NOT working!!!!!

Jackson Doughart on circumcision: Infants can’t choose

I did not write the article that is below. Since I’m on my iPhone sometimes I can’t get a good link to post of the article so I simply cut and paste.
Although these pictures are mine and not affiliated with the article


National Post

In November 2010, CBS News in San Francisco reported on a proposal to ban male circumcision, which may be included on a municipal ballot this fall. The measure, which would make it a misdemeanour to “circumcise, excise, cut or mutilate the genitals of a person under 18,” has catalyzed a debate about the legality of male circumcision among medical professionals, religious leaders and those opposed to ritual and medically-unnecessary circumcisions, also known as intactivists.

This is an issue that should also be debated in Canada, where about a third of infant boys are circumcised. Canada has no laws restricting male circumcision, despite recommendations from the Canadian Paediatric Society that the procedure not be routinely performed on infants. Ritual male circumcision, better described as genital mutilation, amounts to strapping down a child and cutting off his foreskin. This practice is an indefensible violation of individual rights, as the person being circumcised is too young to understand the procedure and thus cannot consent. Accordingly, the Canadian government should pass legislation to prevent parents, religious leaders and health-care professionals from performing and authorizing ritual circumcisions on children.

Perhaps the oldest justifications for male circumcision are religious superstitions rooted in the dogmas of Judaism and Islam. While today many religious traditions are not considered threatening to individual freedom, there could not possibly be a grosser violation of a child’s personal liberty than having parts of his genitals cut away in the name of a faith to which he cannot possibly have chosen to follow. We acknowledge this in the case of female genital mutilation, which is universally condemned despite its religious justifications, but we fail to apply the same logic in the case of male genital mutilation, which continues to enjoy widespread legitimacy.

There are several other justifications that parents give for having their sons cut. Perhaps the most common ones are appeals to aesthetic preference, derived from the Western tradition of routinely circumcising infant boys, which was standardized even among non-Jews in the 20th century as a means of discouraging masturbation. The prevalence of circumcision in some parts of Canada is also cited, as many parents fear that leaving their sons intact will subject them to teasing from their peers.

While parents’ intentions may be honourable, this demonstrates precisely why the practice should be outlawed. As long as the moral question of circumcision is left only in the hands of parents, their decision will be impacted by the choice of other parents to go through with the procedure. The ethics of routine circumcision is an important social question which involves everyone.

In recent years, research has shown that the procedure can reduce a man’s chances of contracting and spreading HIV. This discovery has added a new dimension to this debate, as advocates of circumcision can cite such findings to encourage the practice. While it appears that there may indeed be value in the procedure for lowering HIV transmission, there are far better ways of achieving this goal than routinely mutilating the genitals of children. Educating adolescents about sexual health and condom use before they become sexually active is a far better means of curbing the spread of HIV. Irresponsible sexual behaviour — not foreskin — is at fault for spreading sexually transmitted diseases.

These are all perfectly legitimate reasons for an adult man to choose to undergo a circumcision. The difference is that the procedure would not be imposed upon him before he understands what is being performed. The debate about whether or not circumcision is a worthwhile operation should involve those who can actually make a decision about their own circumcision status, not infants who have no say in the matter. Outlawing routine circumcisions would protect the liberty of children too young to make informed decisions about their own health, children who would otherwise be forced to live with the results of their parents’ choice for the rest of their lives. It is time to rid our society of the shameful practice of routine male genital mutilation and move on to a more enlightened state of affairs, where adults can make such decisions for themselves.

Jackson Doughart is a student of political science at the University of Prince Edward Island and a member of the Canadian Secular Alliance, an organization advocating church/state separation.

Laying eggs

So this evening as I try to steal a few moments alone in a
steaming hot bath my husband comes in and says my oldest is crying
because he needs me. I told my hubby to let my 4 yr old in. He
brought his dinosaurs and we started to enjoy our soak. Now this
boy loves dinosaurs and has rented any Dino movie we can find, so
of course he knows that dinos lay eggs. So we were talking and one
thing lead to another and we talking about how boys and girls have
different private parts… Yes I said penis and vagina to my son
and that eggs and babies come out of a mother’s body. When he said
how? I said through the vagina. He looks up at me and says “but
babies are too big”… Don’t I know it kid, don’t I know it! I’ve
come to the conclusion that I’m not going to shy away from the sex
talk eith my books. We live in to risky of a time to take chances
without good info and I want our kids to feel comfortable talking
to us about anything… Even sex or genital issues. When I was a
kid I only got an age appropriate book from my parents and then the
typical abstinence speeches in youth group. I learned most of what
I know from reading romance novels… Talk about setting ones self
up for disappointment.

2 years old

Yesterday, my youngest turn 2 yrs old. I can remember where
and approximately when he was conceived. His older brother seemed
to instinctively know I was pregnant even before I did because he
would lift my shirt and kiss my belly. It was weird…. Until we
found out I was pregnant then it made sense. My oldest loved my
belly. After bath time he would sit or stand on my belly and give
me hugs and kisses. I was 5 days over the estimated due date the
doctors gave me. When I finally went into labor I rushed to the
hospital because I’d never gone into labor naturally and was
nervous on the 1/2 hour drive. Well I was only fingertip dilated
and stayed that way all day until they gave me pitocin, broke my
waters and face me an epidural. All things I had wanted to avoid
but caused by heading to the hospital to early and well once I’m
there I only want to leave. My youngest was born between 5:15-5:30
weighing in at 8 lbs 14 oz I think. He could have been born earlier but the nurse didn’t check me and when I asked how would we know she said it would feel like a bowel movement. Well I had a feeling on pressure for about 30 minutes but not like a had to poop. Anyways, he was born after about 5 pushes. Bruised and with bloody looking eyes, looking nothing like his brother.

He nursed like a champ. Although, I was pissed the nurses kept trying to do a glucose test
on him for like 15 mins. I almost jumped out of the bed I was so
furious. [damn epidural prevented me] Give me my damn baby!!! Thankfully, this time no one asked
me 6 times if I wanted him circumcised like they did with my
oldest. He was totally different from my first and he never received formula in the hospital.  He was calm and
content from the start.

He co-slept until 5-7 months, didn’t like baby foods, didn’t
like to nurse in public because he was to distracted, and didn’t
like bottles at all.

He is starting potty training and still nurses
about 3-6 times in a 24 hr period.

He loves toy story and Diego.

Lately, I’ve read so much more on natural birth and how it should go that I wish I could go back in time and do his labor and birth over. Well I can’t and I’m done having children so no use crying over spilled milk.


As I’m tucking my four yr old in bed this was our conversation…

‘Mommy can I pick my nose?’
‘Sure but only at home. Not at school, church or in front of other people.’
‘Cause they think it is nasty?’
‘Yes, they think it’s nasty’
‘But not you?’
‘No, not me, as long as you don’t put boogers on me.’
‘The dog? ‘
‘No, not the dogs, in the garbage’
‘ No, you put them back in our noses.’

This could have been the “playing with penis” conversation except for the whole putting it in the nose part….
Ahhh the joys of parenting!!!

Read before having kids

(I did not write this)


1. Go to the
grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your
salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have
children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them
about their…

1. Methods of

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their
child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table
manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it
because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the


A really good way
to discover how the nights might feel…

Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living
room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately
8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious
sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down,
set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with
the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for

5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get
up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work
hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look
cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

you stand the mess children make? T o find out…

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken
behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the
stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag
made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put
the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this –
all morning.


Forget the BMW
and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in
the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and
put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD

3. Take a family size package of
chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios
all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery
store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school
child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to
have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat.
Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your
sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can
easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having


1. Hollow out a

2. Make a small hole in the

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and
swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a
bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying
melon by pretending to be an airplane.

Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in
the air.

You are
now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame
Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch
nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at
least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?)
Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important:
no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional
crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this
tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are
now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice.
Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve,
or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there
is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will
say ‘it’s all worth it!’ Share it with your friends, both those who
do and don’t have kids. I guarantee they’ll get a chuckle out of
it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things
you’ll need when you become a parent!


The boys first trip to Disney’s Magic Kingdom in Orlando.
We stayed at the Waldorf Astoria… very ritzy and ate dinner at
T-Rex in downtown Disney with my in-laws, my bro and sis in law and
my 1 yr old nephew. My boys loved the dinosaurs! The next day we had
a birthday celebration for my nephew at Chef Mickey’s and then a
stroll in magic kingdom. Everything was great except for that
stroll. The boys were tired and cranky and too young to wait nicely
in line. All in all we had fun!





Circumcision Stance

My sister asked me for my opinion on this matter for a school paper. She said she didn’t want a list of medical facts just an opinion. I’m not sure if it was a 1 sentence opinion or the never-ending response I wrote her.
My opinion:
Circumcision is a very very personal opinion for a man to make. Like any body modification be it a tattoo, piercing, liposuction, and other cosmetic surgeries, circumcision is a decision a man goes into knowing it will be painful but something he wants to do. He can choose whether to have a loose cut with some foreskin left or a tight cut with little to no foreskin left. The man needs to discuss his preferences with the doctor and make sure the doctor follows his desires.
Circumcision is a personal decision only the owner of the penis can make. However, many in our society believe it is the parent’s choice to modify the infant male’s genitals to suit their preference. They use excuses like hygiene, like father like son, teasing in the locker room, personal sexual preference and supposed partial protection from STIs and UTIs to advocate and defend their choice to circumcise their infants. These excuses are either lame or actually have been disproven.
Knowledge on the purpose of the foreskin is never given. The foreskin protects the sensitive glans from poop and pee in a diaper by being fused to the glans and not allowing bacteria and such onto the glans. A newly circumcised infant is exposed to possible infections through this open wound.
The infant is also allowed to go through this procedure sometimes without adequate anesthesia and then not given follow-up medication. An adult is given prescription medication but an infant might be given Tylenol? Tylenol!!!
Lacking medical need circumcision on an infant or young child is unethical and wrong.
The first rule in medicine is do no harm [well its not in the Hippocratic oath but it is understood] and yet doctors are cutting off healthy skin tissue because the parents want the doctor too. What? A parent cannot ask the doctor to remove all the child’s finger nails or the ear lobes because they believe it looks better and have less chance of getting hurt later in life. But because circumcision is so culturally and socially acceptable we allow our youngest and most defenseless members to undergo cosmetic surgery and the risks that entails. These risks include pain, shock, excessive bleeding, infection, later re-circumcision and in rare cases death from the blood loss, infection or heart problems exacerbated by the needless infant surgery.My opinion is that circumcising infant without a legitimate medical need/emergency is wrong and should be opposed/stopped by the medical community.
Adult male circumcision is the man’s choice and is fine with me.