To cut or not to cut?

(i did not write this…. i copied excerpts and the link to the full article is below)

To cut or not to cut?

The debate over circumcision gets snippy

By Pamela White

When Russell Crowe apologized for tweeting that “circumcision is barbaric and stupid,” a lot of us were left wondering not only why his opinion on this issue constituted news, but also why he felt the need to apologize. Certainly, he expressed himself without tact, but that’s just Crowe, right?

The plain fact is that circumcision is an elective procedure that offers a handful of possible benefits, while causing newborn boys proven pain and exposing them to a host of unnecessary risks. Part of Jewish and Muslim tradition, circumcision was uncommon in the United States until health care practitioners of the Victorian era, infected with the anti-sexual fervor of their time, began to advocate male and female circumcision as a way to cure both boys and girls of the evil and dangerous habit of “onanism,” i.e., masturbation…………

……………….

What do the medical experts say? “Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision,” writes the American Academy of Pediatrics. “In the case of circumcision, in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the child’s current well-being, parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child. To make an informed choice, parents of all male infants should be given accurate and unbiased information and be provided the opportunity to discuss this decision.”

The American Medical Association refers to circumcision as “non-therapeutic,” i.e., not medically necessary.

And that’s the bottom line: circumcision is not necessary and comes with risks that might not outweigh possible benefits.

Armed with this information, a coalition of nurses (some of them neonatal nurses traumatized by years of observing circumcisions), doctors, midwives, parents and men who were harmed by circumcision are working nationwide as part of the National Organization of Circumcision Resource Centers (NoCirc) to eliminate the practice of newborn circumcision. In San Francisco, “intactivists” are pushing for a referendum that would make it illegal to circumcise boys under the age of 18. The referendum does not make exceptions for religion, pointing to the widespread opposition toward FGM in the United States, a practice often justified by religion. (FGM is illegal in Colorado.)……..

…………..

Where real gain can be measured is in education. Sometimes, practices are nothing more than cultural habits. The purpose has been forgotten, but the practice persists. Most parents aren’t thinking of the evils of “onanism” when they hand their newborn sons over to be cut. When asked their reasons for choosing circumcision, many parents say that a penis is easier to keep clean if it’s circumcised. Others said that they want their sons to look like Daddy.

But if a penis is tough to keep clean, what about a vulva? And exactly how many daddy-son penis comparison sessions happen in American households each week?

There are simple solutions to both issues, of course, and neither involve making a newborn baby bleed. One involves soap and water, the other simple conversation and truth. As parents learn more about circumcision, they increasingly choose to leave their sons intact. In that respect, Crowe’s tactless tweets were helpful. Together with the San Francisco referendum, they’ve launched a nationwide discussion on a practice that is deeply ingrained in American culture, yet which has little value and, in fact, may cause lasting harm.

For more information, go to http://www.nocirc.org; jewishcircumcision.org; and cutthefilm.com.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

via To cut or not to cut?.

http://www.boulderweekly.com/article-5862-to-cut-or-not-to-cut.html

Scream free parenting chapter 4

I’ve been a bit behind. I had to return the book to the library and I argued with myself about buying the online kindle version of the book.

Scream Free Parenting By Hal Edward Runkel, LMFT:

“children are not machines or pets and parents are neither their operators or their owners.”

Reflection questions Chapter 4:

1)      What was it like to imagine your and your families future? What was the hardest part? What did you like thinking about the most.

This question I can’t truly answer. I’m so pessimistic and skeptical about life and the future that I fear “thoughtful wishing.” When I think of the future I can only imagine the present or the near future…. Long term escapes me. I worry that I won’t have a close connection with my boys or even my hubby.

2)      When you think about your effect on your child’s future, what is your first feeling: excitement, hope, fear, guilt, dread?

A cross between dread and hope

3)      If you can be honest with yourself, how much do you hope your children fulfill your own ambitions? How well do you know their ambitions?

Honestly, I just want them to have ambition. Sometimes/most of the time I lack ambition and enthusiasm for an endeavor and I hope, yes “ I” hope, they have more ambition and drive than I do. I hope they have dreams and they want and drive to accomplish them no matter what. I’ve always been to insular and self-contained that I’ve hardly ever tried to given up too soon.  Right now my kids want to be super heroes.

4)      How self-directed is each of your children now? What steps have they taken recently toward self direction, and how have you encouraged that growth.

Well my oldest is only 4 and my youngest is only 2 so I will only answer this for the oldest.

My oldest is very self motivated when something interests him. Whether he is interested in dinosaurs, toads, animals or super heroes he immerses himself in them. I help it along by renting movies, buying/renting books,  buying toys, pretend play, wrestling matches and frog hunts.

5)      What does it mean to you to “let go of the final results?” What might that look like in terms of your relationship with your children?

That I can’t beat, yell, or enforce the final result into my children. I must lead by example and if they choose to follow my good examples good but if they choose to follow my bad examples now to hold myself too accountable because it is the choice they made. There are 2 decision makers here. I make decision to do something and they make a decision to do something… “Parents shape their children. Children shape themselves. Both are true”

Relationship-wise, me learning to relax my orders……

Several things

Sooooo
Today I bought a car decal from thewholenetwork.org that says “bring your whole baby home.” I finally did it. I’m moving to isolated community in a few weeks where probably every little boy is cut so this is big for me.

We al caught a medium sized toad today. The boys were happy. We bought crickets and will release in a couple days.

My keruig coffee k- cups came in….all 125

The hermit crab sunshine is isolated and I haven’t seen her in 2-3 days. Sunsun and Sid have been crawling around so I assume they are fine. My mother is still trying to convince me to set them free into the wild.

And we signed of rental contract with the realtor so she can rent out our house once we leave…..

Jelly legs

Well, the hermit crab Sunshine had been buried under the substrate for about a week… but I had to isolate her today. I found SunSun [the other big crab] digging a trench right on top of her…I don’t know if he was trying to eat her or not but I decided to isolate her just in case. When I picked her up I noticed her missing leg is now growing back [clear jelly leg until the molt]. So right now she is in the 2 gallon tank and hopefully she’ll molt and can rejoin the others soon.

Joseph4GI: Circumcision is Child Abuse: A Picture Essay

(i did NOT type this. You can find pictures and the full essay by clicking the link below the excerpt)

 

SUNDAY, JUNE 19, 2011

Circumcision is Child Abuse: A Picture Essay

There has got to be something very tragic, and very wrong, with a society impaired by its own cultural blinders. It is very disconserting that while human rights advocates fly half-way around the globe to decry the genital mutilation of girls and women, the very same people display a wilfull ignorance to the genital mutilation of boys in their own countries. While their cameras faithfully bring back images of girls being restrained as they have part of their genitals forcedully cut off, they somehow fail to capture images of the boys in these countries who are enduring the same.

Every so often, we’ll see pictures of the forced genital cutting of boys in the media, however the tone in presentation is different. While the presentation of the images of forced female genital cutting encourage an audience to deplore the actions depicted, the presentation of the images of forced male genital cutting encourage an audience to accept what they see in the scope of “cultural relativism.” “Horror and torture” for girls and women, “the preservation of age-old coming-of-age tradition” in boys. Why the sexist double-think?

It is a glaringly obvious inconsistency to defend the forced genital cutting of one sex, but condemn it in the other, yet when advocates of human rights point out this inconsistency, we are often met with hostility. “How dare you compare male and female circumcision,” retort some, especially those defending male infant circumcision, “they’re not the same thing!” This is said in a matter-of-fact tone, as if these claims were immediately self-evident.

I must ask, on what are they basing these assertions? Of the people that make these claims, how many of them have actually witnessed a male circumcision, let alone a male one? Can these claims actually be substantiated, or do they expect us to take their word for it at face value? What double-think are they using to condemn the abuse of female children, while defending the abuse of male children?

via Joseph4GI: Circumcision is Child Abuse: A Picture Essay.

http://joseph4gi.blogspot.com/2011/06/circumcision-is-child-abuse-picture.html#comment-form

Big Cat Coffees – Keurig K-Cup Coffees, Teas and Brewers

Big Cat Coffees – Keurig K-Cup Coffees, Teas and Brewers.

http://www.bigcatcoffees.com/

Well, I just ordered $85 dollars worth of coffee for my Keurig coffee machine through this website. They have this option where you can make your own custom variety pack, which i think is totally awesome. I admit I went a little bit overboard at 25 flavors [5 k-cups per flavor] [some flavors I duplicated]. so that was around 125 k-cups of coffee which I can usually stretch out into 2 cups….. I think I went slightly crazy.

i’ll update on my order once i receive it.

Here was my order:

yum1
Gloria Jean’s – Butter Toffee K-Cups (51)
Gloria Jean’s – Cappuccino K-Cups (52)
Gloria Jean’s – Swiss Chocolate Almond K-Cups (62)
Timothy’s – Caramel Vanilla Nut K-Cups (95)
Timothy’s – Hazelnut Noisette K-Cups (101)
1 $16.95 $16.95
Yum2
Caribou – Daybreak Morning Blend K-Cups (11)
Caribou – Decaf Caribou Blend K-Cups (15)
Coffee People – Donut Shop Coffee K-Cups (26)
Green Mountain Coffee – Hazelnut K-Cups (130)
Green Mountain Coffee – Fair Trade Island Coconut K-Cups (244)
1 $16.95 $16.95
Yum 3
Coffee People – Donut Shop Coffee K-Cups (26)
Timothy’s – Colombian Excelencia (123)
Green Mountain Coffee – Caramel Vanilla Cream K-Cups (126)
Green Mountain Coffee – Mocha Nut Fudge K-Cups (133)
Timothy’s – Sugar Bush Maple K-Cups (227)
1 $16.95 $16.95
Yum 4
Coffee People – Donut Shop Coffee K-Cups (26)
Coffee People – Donut Shop Decaf K-Cups (29)
Diedrich – Colombia K-Cups (40)
Timothy’s – Parisian Nights Extra Bold K-Cups (110)
Green Mountain Coffee – Decaf Vermont Country Blend K-Cups (147)
1 $16.95 $16.95
Yum 5
Bigelow – Earl Grey Tea K-Cups (170)
Celestial Seasonings – India Spice Chai Tea K-Cups (183)
Wolfgang Puck – Jamaica Me Crazy K-Cups (418)
Wolfgang Puck – Jamaica Me Crazy K-Cups (418)
Wolfgang Puck – Jamaica Me Crazy K-Cups (418)
1 $16.95 $16.95

Shell Change

SID the little hermit crab finally changed his shell! (I know silly thing to be happy about)
——–
Later that day in Hermitville:
Grrrr Sid the hermit crab changed back into his old painted shell…..
….Go backwards 3 steps….
Damn crab….

_________________

2 weeks later he finally changed shells again….. damn crab!

Scream-free Parenting, Reflection Part 3

First I just need to sat…. I’ve been a crappy impatient parent today…..

Scream-Free parenting by Runkel, reflections part 3

1) What’s the part of parenting that you find most challenging? Think about the challenges throughout your parenting history and those you fight most difficult right now.

What I find most difficult is parenting when I am tired or stressed, which is often. I just can’t think beyond my reaction. So bed time and morning breakfast time{pre-coffee} are the most difficult. Also when I lose something and I’m on a wild search for it, when I’m lost or when the kids aren’t doing what I asked and are throwing fits.

2) Several people have said this: “I was a much better parent before I had kids.” How is your view of parenting different now than it was before you had kids? How is parenting more challenging? How is it more rewarding?

Oh, I was the never feed McDonalds, make children eat veg and fruit kind of pre-mom. I wouldn’t ever co-sleep as the baby needs its own bed, wean by 6 months from the breast and definitely no pacifier after a yr. Children are innocent and you shouldn’t yell or spank them. I became the let’s go to McDonald’s mom. I gave my kids juice when they refused fruit and veg. I co-slept so I could actually sleep, my oldest had his paci until 2 ½ yrs and I yell and spank and threaten to spank way too often.

It’s so challenging because you can’t rationalize with the little demons. That and my oldest is a mini-me so we both set each other off easy…. I know I know I’m the freaking adult.

Its more rewarding because of the things that come out of their mouths, their smiles and hugs, watching them grow and learn things, seeing them take pride in their accomplishments. It swells my heart

3) Recall an activity where your reactivity actually made things worse. What could you have done differently? What’s a possible different outcome?

My oldest and his potty training. I was so hard on him. I used words like its dirty and nasty to go in your underwear. Gross. Bad Boy…. I shamed him. It took him a long time to potty train. I could have been gentler. I could have been more patient but I was too concerned about what others thought of my unpotty trained son. I was hard on him and I should have not been so aggressive. If I had been gentler maybe it would have clicked a lot soon or at least I wouldn’t be crying at the memory now.

4) How much do you consider yourself a grown up? How has becoming a parent asked you to continue to grow?

I consider myself a lousy grown up. I don’t act mature in my dealings with my children…. But being a parent has caused me to look at my own demons and acknowledge that I need to change and that I am endeavoring to change. I love my family. I need to change.

5) What benefit might it have for your child to see you still striving toward maturity, still seeking your own growth?

Well, considering my oldest is just like me, volatile and temperamental, I think seeing me control myself will definitely influence him. With my youngest, I believe it will lead to a less stressful childhood for him.

Whenever we give in to our anxious reactivity, we help create the very outcome we’re hoping to avoid.

peaceful parenting: Russell Crowe on Circumcision

link: peaceful parenting: Russell Crowe on Circumcision.

my words below:

I read the tweet on twitter that Mr. Crowe originally did. I think he was trying to tackle a controversial topic and make it a bit lighter by adding some unfortunately Jewish stereotypes which caused an anti-Semitism accusation to be thrown at him.

So many people totally missed the point about him saying that circumcision was wrong and solely focused on the possible interpretation of negativity in his words instead of the real negativity associated with the act of forced genital cutting.

It just goes to show that in order to spread the message of intactivism and the anti-circumcision movement intactivist  (people opposing circumcision] needs to speak with diplomacy in order to be really heard.

Please speak with tact and diplomacy when presenting intactivist/anti-circumcision information so that people hopefully hear the message that forced genital cutting of minors is wrong. Because no matter how necessary it is to spread the message and how forced genital cutting of minors may horrify you if you let your emotions rule your responses, people won’t hear you. People who feel attacked only see the attack not the help you are willing to offer to help them heal themselves and their children.

(I typed this fast sorry if it doesn’t make much sense)

Mama, I want

An aspect of parenthood is self-sacrifice. I give up a lot of my time, my dinner plate and my TV preferences to my sons. I also tend to give up a lot of quality and quantity time with my hubby. However, last night was my hubby’s test of self-sacrifice. Last night, I had a girl’s night out with my mommy friends. We went out for sushi, wine and then to the movie theater to watch “The Hangover part II.” Good movie by the way. I’m a bit traumatized from the viewing but otherwise thoroughly enjoyed it.

My dinner with friends started at around 6:30pm at a Sushi Thai restaurant. Afterwards at around 8:16pm we made our way to the theater for the 8:40 movie. I text my hubby to make sure he’s ok. He calls me back within 5 mins to tell me….. ” The kids are ok, they aren’t hurt, they are fine….. but we are  driving back home now from the medical urgent care…..”

Turns out that at around 6:38pm he was trying to open a package with a switch blade and ended up stabbing his forefinger on his left hand. It wouldn’t stop bleeding so he grabbed both boys, tossed them in the car and went to the urgent care by himself with the kids. When I asked him why didn’t he call me he said “cause I respect girl’s night out and I couldn’t do that to you.'”

oh, my darling husband practically chops his finger off and instead of enlisting my help takes the boys to the urgent care by himself…… his bleeding self….

The boys had fun. They practiced fighting methods, drumming, and other methods of mayhem while in the waiting room and the “service” room. moreover, they were both a sleep when I got home at 12am.

My hubby is great! …. if a little misguided….

The Joys of parenting:

“Mama, I want my penis to go down (get smaller)” says my oldest, {He’s been tugging on it and fiddling with it since he got up 3 hrs ago…. he decided he didn’t want to replace his pants after he got up}

My reply was the obvious “well sweetie, if you stop touching it, it will.”

Ahhh, parenthood!

Natural deodorant as face wash???

Not my words(my words are after)

Ingredients for homemade deodorant:
1/4 cup baking soda
1/4 cup arrow root powder OR corn starch
~5 tablespoons coconut oil
Directions for making homemade deodorant:
1. Combine baking soda and arrow root powder in a bowl and mix with a fork.
2. Start with about 4 tablespoons/one-fourth cup of coconut oil and add the coconut oil to the baking soda mixture, working into a paste.
The deodorant will have somewhat of a play-dough consistency, and will be softer or harder depending on its temperature. You can put the deodorant into a small container with a lid, or into an empty stick deodorant dispenser if you have one. My deodorant hardened somewhat after I put it into a container.

(Her words) http://www.tammysrecipes.com/homemade_deodorant_recipe

——-
(my words)
I ended up getting really itchy dry armpits from this recipe so I added extra coconut oil, several drops of tea tree and lavender 100% essential oil.
I put it in a porcelain container instead if an old deodorant container. I heard that coconut oil is a good moisturizer fir your face so I’ve actually started using this mixture as a “face wash.” I rinse my face first, then rub a small amount all over my face and rinse with cool water for about a minute then pat dry.
It feels like a light exfoliator and the coconut oil doesn’t leave your face oily.

I’ve also put 2 drops of lavender in my palm and then added water to it and rubbed it all over my face taking care not to get it near my eyes.

I think these things have helped my skin.

Google these oils and their benefits for skin.
Coconut oil
Lavender essential oil
Tea tree essential oil

Hives and not the ones for bees

So my 2 yr old developed hives yesterday. We don’t know what caused them. It could be a number of things. Like: 1) he’s had 4 icees this week and he’s never had them before…[they are a cool down treat for his brother who is in a swim day camp] 2) he didn’t take his 24 hr claratin 2x in a row this week, 30) i gave him a herbal cough and chest congestion medicine that has 100% honey in it 4) I’ve switched laundry soaps to a more natural one and 5) he used an older blanket,m that though clean has seen a lot of usage on our adult bed because the dogs sleep with us….
Either way, hydro-cortisone cream and benedryl got rid of them yesterday so i thought we were in the clear but I noticed them again this evening so I’m wondering what’s causing them….. hmmmm

anyway, my 4 yr old is in a swim day camp for the week. He is having a blast. Actually, after the first day, when I picked him up and asked him how his day went he said ” it was swell!” swell? Swell! WTF! What 4 yr old says swell? Anyways, so i’m glad he is having fun. Unfortunately, after day camp his is so tired he has been a little whining demon brat! Arg! i’ve done real good at control my reactions though so his tantrums haven’t spiraled out of control… thank God!… although we’ve both been close to emotional stressed eruptions… so I guess the scream-free parenting book is working. 😉
On a good note my 4 yr old has fallen asleep 2x this week before 7pm! That is a BLESSING!

All in all this has been a good week.

Scream-Free parenting Reflections chapter 2

Scream Free Parenting By Hal Edward Runkel, LMFT:

Chapter 2 Reflections:

1)      What situation with your child seems to make you most reactive

There are several situations at the moment. When the boys are whining, fighting over toys, potty accidents, doing something I told them not to do… but mostly whining. The whining kills me

2)      What is your typical way of screaming?

I’m embarrassed to admit that  I storm across the room yelling and accusing. I’m loud.

3)      When you lose your temper who are you usually tempted to blame?

See I allow my children and even others to upset me and I may initially say “well if you had/hadn’t  done ________ then I wouldn’t be mad right now” or “great you made me mad” or something stupid like that… but at the end of the storm I blame no one but myself. Many of the principles in this book I already have acknowledged. I know only I can control myself and it is a struggle. I’m a fire cracker and I need to learn to put out my own match.

4)      Has anyone ever tried to make you lose your temper on purpose? How did you respond?

When I’ve argued with my  husband we have both said things to intentionally incite more anger. I usually allow myself to be bathed in the anger and let loose. However, I have at times chosen not to get angry, well explosive… I’ve gotten angry but I don’t explode… which is a big plus.

5)       Recall a time when you well proud of the fact that you remained calm and connected during a heated situation. How did your calm presence affect the outcome?

Sometimes when my 4 yr old gets over tired at night he goes nuclear. A few times I’ve stayed calm and let him storm and then if he starts to calm himself or ask for hugs then I do so and I comfort him until we can get things settled and go to sleep. Unfortunately, when he first starts to explode I usually go off as well. I have to fight with myself to calm down and then help him calm down. If  I remain calm the explosion usually has a shorter duration.

Excerpt:

The unfortunate truth is that many of us live our relationships this way. We continually surrender control over our emotional responses to those around us. We need others to accept us or validate us by doing whatever we tell them to do, we make them caretakers of our emotional remote controls…..

…….Taking responsibility for your own actions is a sign of maturity. Owning up to your mistakes without blaming your circumstances, other people or your childhood…….. learning to be under control means taking responsibility for your decisions before during and after you make them.

— To be in charge as a parent means inspiring your children to motivate themselves.