Kids don’t need to be upset about consequences
to learn from consequences.
Of course, the odds for learning go way up when consequences meet the following guidelines:
They are logical.
The consequence makes sense given the child’s mistake or misbehavior.
They are provided with love.
The consequence is delivered with sincere empathy instead of frustration, anger, or sarcasm.
They are enforceable.
The consequence is something we can actually do, and it doesn’t punish us as we provide it.
They are preceded with very few words.
Before the consequence is provided, there are no repeated warnings, threats, or lectures.
When they are over, they are over.
After providing the consequence, the adult doesn’t rub salt in the wounds by lecturing, moralizing, or trying to make sure that the child has learned a lesson.
-Dr Charles Fay