“It wasn’t like all the lights turned on at once that night but it was the beginning of a kind of awakening that culminated in my realization that I was not happy my parents had signed up for part of my dick to be removed and i was really pissed that the American medical community had encouraged them to do just this and had made a practice of doing it to people for all kinds of bizarre invented reasons since the 19th century. Now I was REALLY uncomfortable. I realized that what had been done to me was really, royally screwed up but I had no idea what the hell to do about it. Boy was I a miserable jerk for a few weeks there. Apparently the first mental breakthrough I had was that cutting in general was bad. I look back at pictures from that time in my life and I had allowed my beard to grow down almost the base of my neck. Coincidence? I kind of doubt it. By then my son had been born and I saw what a real, normal penis is supposed to look like. Um, yeah, it’s like the difference between going out to play in the snow with your coat on and walking outside naked. It’s like looking at one normal finger and than looking at a finger than has the fingernail ripped off and here’s this naked nail bed all dried out and fucking weird. That denial really started to fall apart after the first twenty or so diaper changes. But I’m glad of course. That’s a hell of a thing to live your life without realizing that a huge part of you has been missing since you were about 4 days old. ”
Now my son’s almost four and I look back on this time for me and I think how obvious it is why this cycle of circumcision perpetuates itself. We are hardwired for survival. It’s a hard thing to face this stuff when you can’t even remember it being done and your whole life everytime you hold your dick in your hands to take a piss you think it’s perfectly normal that it looks that way. You’re talking about rising up against decades of cognitive dissonance. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to come to such a realization after you’ve already circed your child. Anyone who has the gumption to face a mistake like that and speak out about it deserves a frikkin’ medal in my book.