Simply Not So simple


For my brother:

My screams echo through my mind like a raging storm roaring through a cave. A whirlwind, a tidal wave of anger regrets and sorrow. I never thought, I never saw. I didn’t know that you were a rock in my heart… I didn’t know… were always there, I couldn’t see how much you meant because you were always there. now you’re gone and I’m empty and I don’t know
I can’t tell you I’m sorry. I can’t tell you I love you. I can’t tell you goodbye.
I’m like an iron bound Faye who is burning, hurt, tormented and I didn’t know, I didn’t know, I never thought that I would feel this. I never thought, I never thought to lose you. you were always there. you were always present. I’d leave and you were there. I’d come back and you were there. well , I’m back now and you’re gone
Why! it’s not fair, it’s not right, I took you for granted. I thought you were always going to be there and now I’m left with rage, sorrow screaming through my mind like a storm like a tidal wave and there’s nothing I can do about itI don’t want peace I want pain. I want rage, for those are real feelings. those will remind me never again to take another person for granted because even if they seem like they will always be there, one day they won’t be
You are gone and I’m left with the storm, a tidal wave raging through my mind and I just don’t know, I just don’t know, and you’re gone and I’m sorry


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