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Hey all, my 36 yr old, older brother unexpectedly died of heart failure last week on Sept. 27, 2014. I loved him but I didn’t appreciate him enough. I didn’t see him often lately and when I did, I teased him (as little sisters do) but I don’t know if I told him I loved him and how much he meant to me.
So take my advice: tell the people you love, that you love them. Be there for them.

What I said at his memorial service
David was my brother, no David is my brother. And as his sister, I don’t think I appreciated him enough, because I took him for granted. I thought, he was always going to be there, that he was always going to tease me, that I was always going to annoy him, that he would always be there as a presence for my children. Unfortunately, I was wrong. David has taught me, through his death, that when you love somebody you need to let them know, as often as you can, be it through the words I love you, be through little gestures like hugs, kisses, punches, pinches, uh I mean hugs and kisses. And I hope that this is a lesson that he is taught you. appreciate the people in your life even if you don’t always get along with them, even if you don’t always agree with them or their lifestyle choices, even if they are the most aggravating person in the world, which David was not I was. Appreciate your loved ones be they friends or family and never treat a stranger bad because you don’t know what they’re going through.
So grieve, rage but also laugh, love and live. Live your life for you only have one.IMG_2464.JPG





Albatross, garbage and the nesting grounds on Midway


The plastic plight of the albatross

documentary follows internationally acclaimed artist Chris Jordan to investigate an environmental tragedy in this remote Pacific paradise: tens of thousands of albatrosses lie dead on the ground, bodies filled with plastic from the Pacific Garbage Patch – See more at:

Of the 500,000 albatross chicks born here each year, about 200,000 die, mostly from dehydration or starvation. A two-year study funded by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency showed that chicks that died from those causes had twice as much plastic in their stomachs as those that died for other reasons. Albatross scour the ocean surface for sustenance, finding all manner of plastic debris, bottle caps, lighters, combs, and minuscule photodegradated (broken down by the sun) pieces of plastic that can be mistaken for food. Hence, the birds swallow the junk, that perforates their stomach or blocks their esophagus or gizzard, leading to inability to eat, often leading to death.

– See more at:







Messy pancakes and heartache

Although the below post is a funny post, please pray for the author she just lost her toddler to SIDS (awaiting autopsy to confirm).
The info about her toddlers’ passing was not on her blog but on her fb fan page.
I cannot imagine her agony and the emotional tsunami her and her family are going through. Please pray for them.

They took WAY longer than I had ever spent making pancakes- or anything, really, ever before. When we were through with our efforts, we had procured several brown, lumpy, oddly shaped wads so thick and heavy, I was pretty sure they were going to skip being eaten to put on some flannel and grab a chainsaw to finish a hard day’s work at a lumber mill. I could have said about the same for the syrup/sauce/fruit goo.

This was a giant, leaping bound away from the light, fluffy pancakes of yore. My spiced oatmeal pancakes looked and smelled like Rudolph had used the serving tray as a personal port-a-potty. (Going with the unicorns-farting-rainbows theory, I’m assuming magical reindeer poo also magically smells of cinnamon and vanilla) My not-so- abandoned reservations were screaming in my face, SEEEEE? Dude. Yuckballs. Leave the cooking to the professionals, eh? Despite the encouraging eyes of my toddler companion, I kind of wanted to cry.

“To-men ‘eesh are MESHY pancakesh!” he said between never-empty-mouthfuls. “We MADE ’em. ‘ey’re GOOD!”

With that small insight, the burden of my expectations and ego were lifted. Aiden had never had an agenda aside from wanting to spend time with me- and wanting a hot breakfast. He had enjoyed every minute of the feel of the flour mixture, the satisfaction of successfully cracking the eggs, the stickiness of the dough, the participation and the company. When it was through, he loved the outcome with no reservations and simply called them as he saw, “Messy Pancakes”… and they were the best pancakes I’ve ever tried.

What kind of wacko kills 5 yr olds?


A heavily armed man invaded a Newtown, Conn., elementary school today, killing his mother and 26 others, mostly children, federal and state sources tell ABC News.

The United States needs two new federal laws, which would almost guarantee an immediate, dramatic decline in gun violence:

1. A renewed ban on the sale of assault weapons. These are the weapons of choice for deranged individuals who are determined to kill. They must be banned in America forever.
Sign the petition here:

2. Require all gun purchasers to undergo an instant background check. No more “cash and carry.”

Violence in China. Man stabs 22 kids.












Hermit crab

Found out sunsun the biggest hermit crab of my original purchase has died. I had sunsun for about a yr and a half. I thought he was molting but I guess the stress got to him and he died. In death they crawl out of their shells and stink.
I don’t think I’ll Tell my oldest son this time…🐚🐚🐚


A friend’s dad died last night and a few weeks ago my brother-in-law’s 18 yr old brother died.
Death is every where and it scares me. I can’t imagine losing someone that I love.
My miscarriage in 2008 devastated me ad I’d only know that entity for a couple of months.
What would I do if I lost a parent or sibling or child or husband?
Would I be numb and act like everything was ok? Would I wail and cry and waste away in bed?
How would/will I react?
Sometimes, I feel so disconnected from others and I wonder how strong my emotions for them are…..
I just pray I don’t lose anyone…..

Eight thoughts to ponder (humorous)

I did NOT write this! I am merely passing it on as I found it funny


Number 8

Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6

Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, do some baking .

Number 5

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years

Number 4

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 3

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.

Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers–

what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

And as someone recently said to me:
“Don’t worry about old age–it doesn’t last that long.”


Sooo hermit crabs

So remember a while back when one of our 3 hermit crabs died, I told my boys, and we buried it. A few weeks after the burial I bought 3 small, small hermits.
About a week before our trek from TN to Florida I moved their habitat into a smaller more portable case.
Well we’ve been in FL for about 3 full weeks. At some point in the last 3-4 weeks one of the small crabs had died while buried in the substrate. I thought it may be molting so I tried to give it plenty of time, well I checked today and it was dead dead dead.
This time I did not tell the boys as they had not yet formed attachments to the new small hermits, in fact my hubs thinks I only bought 1 extra hermit do this hermit that died wont be missed by the family. However, I did bury this one and covered it with rocks to protects its “grave”….

On another note, the living hermits are enjoying all sorts of food: rabbit food, dried veg, dried fruit, crab food, cricket food, finch food….. Etc

One hermit died

Sadly, one of our big hermit crabs died. Either sunsun or sunshine. I think it was sunsun.
I’m not sure why.
I’m debating about telling The boys or just burying him without telling the boys….
I don’t feel that tossing him in the trash would be proper. Maybe I should put him in the compost pile……
I’m really heart broken……

Update: I believe the dead hermit is sunshine as sunshine was always the shy one and sunsun is always the one who easily pops his head out of his shell to say hello…. The big one that is left easily pops out when I call him….

I told my oldest yesterday that his crab died. My oldest had me unbury/exhume the poor crab do that he could see for himself….
I figured this would be the case so before burying the crab I placed him in a big clam shell and in a paper bag…. So he was easy to find.

Update: 5/12/12: about 2 weeks ago I bought 3 tiny ones…. They’ve disappeared in the habitat…. Probably molting…..


I did not write this. A friend posted it on Facebook. I don’t know who wrote this.


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.